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This journal is ours to document and record the memories of our relationship. It's a tool to document the growth, trials and challenges that we've achieved and overcome. This journal has the same purpose that we have in our relationship and our individual lives: To glorify God. This journal is another means to share our hearts with each other, to express cares and concerns, and to offer encouragement. This journal is to be filled with love.


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Dannielle Jason

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10 21 06 - 7:42pm]

I'm in love with the Lord that lives within you.
And I love the man of character that God made you, too.

God bless.
I'm praying for you.
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What I Miss [
08 22 06 - 3:11pm]

What do I have to do to convince you?

It's not holding your hand that I miss...
it's having someone close to me who listens and cares.
It's not looking intimately into your eyes that I miss...
It's seeing a person who understands me, genuinely seeing me for who I am, and accepting me that way.
It's not talking late into the night that I miss...
it's having those deep discussions that leave me to think about the wisdom you've shared with me and the advice you've given me.
It's not being able to say, "I have a boyfriend" that I miss...
it's having to tell everyone, "I had a best friend, but now he doesn't want to talk to me anymore."
It's not dreaming of a future with you that I miss...
it's openly discussing my future with you, and hearing your imput, guidence and encouragement about my plans and decisions.
It's not being able to hold you and touch you that I miss...
it's the fellowship and growth together in our faith.
It's not having the feeling that someone loves me and is always thinking of me that I miss...
it's laughing with you, crying with you, telling you my secrets, and always having someone I know will always be there for me that I truly miss.
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Farewell [
07 18 06 - 6:01pm]

love is a balance
holding on, letting go
and now must i leave you
i need to grow

farewell, i love you,
forgive me if i cry
for it breaks my heart
to say good bye
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Thank You [
07 08 06 - 10:17pm]

Thank you for leaving that message behind from April.
I was totally confused as to why you broke up with me a month ago...
and now I understand a little better thanks to reading that entry from April.

Remember when you said this?
"I want to see you in person, I want a hug."
Exactly how you felt then.... is how I feel. If I could have anything in the world right now, I would want nothing more than just to hold you for a moment.

"I do plan on getting back together with you... I want to work it out with you, I just don't know when."

I wish to God that was true this time...
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Prayers [
07 07 06 - 3:41pm]

I was re-reading my journal from December of 2004.

I found a prayer in it for your family's salvation.

Just thought I'd let you know I was thinking of you then...

and that my prayers are still with you.
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07 05 06 - 6:08pm]

[ mood | thankful ]

My Wish

I hope that days come easy and moments pass slow,
and each road leads you where you want to go,
and if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,
if it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,

More than anything, more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
and while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
all the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
and you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
and you always give more than you take.

Oh More than anything, Yeah, and more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
and while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

--Rascal Flatts

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Listening [
07 04 06 - 11:39pm]

[ mood | thoughtful ]

I realize I haven't been a very good listener to you. For that, I apologize. Because I care about you, I care about what YOU care about... and about what you think and what you feel.

I propose an idea:
whenever you're ready to talk to me (I hope it's soon, but I won't pressure it to be any sooner than you are ready) I promise to open my ears and hear everything you have to say. I promise to open my heart and put forth every bit of effort to understand exactly what you're saying. I promise not to interupt. I promise to hear you out, everything you've ever wanted to say to me but were too afraid I wouldn't truly LISTEN. I want to hear all of what you want to say to me.

James 1:19
"My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry."

Romans 14:19
"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification."

Someone wise once said that God gave us two ears and one mouth to listen twice as much as we speak. Now I've said too much already... but I'm prepared to start using the organs that are better put to use.

Ready when you are.

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Respones to "Beautiful" Entry [
06 20 06 - 1:52am]

All of what you wrote is well and good... between you and God. Yes, you can be assured that when you look in the mirror, that God says, "You are beautiful, you are mine." But can you tell yourself that? Can you believe that when another human being says that? You can have confidence in God, but no confidence in yourself. You can be secure in God, but incredibly insecure in the world. You can have a mature relationship with the Lord, but be very immature in your relationship with the world. It becomes necessary for one to balance the relationship one has with the Lord and the world simultaneously. If one fails at either or, they have failed at both.

In a practical perspective, and in all honesty, you never gave me the confidence that you had confidence in yourself. You weren't mature or secure enough to do it on your own. You came to me when you had tough decisions to make, you came to me when you you were feeling sad, you expected me to make you happy (in a general sense) you vented to me. You wanted my approval/assurance (hence all the times I had to tell you why I loved you). The list goes on. I'm not saying that you shouldn't have shared all of those things with me, but it was more a necessity. You couldn't not share them with me. And if all of this is bogus to you, you can't deny that this is the way that you made me feel. And no, I probably didn't communicate this to you in the clearest of terms while in the relationship, but the attempts were there. The times when I was trying to get you to re-focus on God were attempts to get you to turn inward toward yourself and your faith to grow and mature. You didn't see that, and that's partly my fault for poor communication. On the flip side, it's not really for me to show you where you need to grow and mature. That's for God to know and you to figure out. And like I mentioned in the it entry, it takes risks, failure, and it means stretching your mind. Ultimately it means growing in your faith, in ways you never thought possible. It's in places you thought you should never go. (For instance with me, it's in a fraternity. For you it could be friendly's).

By no means am I saying that I excell at this balancing act of the world and a relationship with God. On the contrary I have come to realize that this balancing will be a constant struggle. It is another facet of the Christian life. Furthermore, it is the site at which spiritual warefare is fought.

By this comment, I simply mean to encourage you to explore the multitude of ways to be in the world, but not of the world. A mature Christian, of which I am not (however, a Christian is never fully mature, [he] is constantly growing), can balance being in the world, but not of the world.

I would give you the advice that my [earthly] father gave me, but refined for your purposes. My father said to me, "don't limit yourself." I say to you in addition to what my father said, "don't limit your God."

For instance, imagine the things God could do when you are a friend to a co-worker at Friendly's? Imagine the joy it would be to your parents if your room was clean. (Then think about how it would effect the rest of your family. Might I remind you that Joanna has the goal of cleaning the house up a bit).

I guess I could also take this time to thank you for FINALLY giving me some time and space. For once, you let go of yourself, you surrendered, and you put me ahead of yourself. That is it (in reference to the it entry.) Fortunately or unfortunately, in my eyes, you have a long way to go before you have more of it and I have only begun to use the time that you've given me to allow for everything to sink in. I've only begun to ponder and think about what I've learned from the relationship, and appreciate everything God has taught me through you. It's obvious to me as to what He's teaching you, but I have to do some serious thinking about what He's taught me. To do that, I need time and space. I don't think I'll need much, but don't hold your breath either. It could be a week, it could be the rest of the summer. I'll let you know when I've had all the time and space I've needed. [I also don't think you've realized the time and space you've needed... so simultaneously, we're both getting what we need.... God is good).
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Love Is [
06 18 06 - 10:25pm]

Love is...
more than just hearts and flowers and romance.
More than candlelit dinners, dancing, walking hand in hand, and moments of intimate sharing.
Love lasts beyond those initial stages...
It is understanding through the difficult times,
caring past the disagreements.
It's laughing together when things are good,
or laughing together to keep from crying
when things couldn't seem to go more wrong.
It is patience and compassion, compromise and healing.
Love is forgiving and forgiving and forgiving.
Love is everything we share together.
Because to me,
love is
and always will be you.

-Renee Duvall

My dad gave this card to my mom today. They held hands in church and tears filled my eyes... because I was incredibly overwhelmed with joy for their closeness, and I was also crying a few tears of sorrow, because I knew I'd never hold your hand again.
And when I heard the message in church today about true love, I was sniffling next to my dad. I needed a tissue. It was so beautiful. It was about how true love is dying for the one you love. And I knew in the quietness of my own heart that I would have died for you. And if given the chance, I'd probably still die for you.
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It [
06 18 06 - 8:09pm]

It is maturity.
It is security.
It is self-worth and self-esteem.
It is confidence.
It is intuition.

It is something I cannot give you. It takes time. It takes failure. It takes risks.
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