In a practical perspective, and in all honesty, you never gave me the confidence that you had confidence in yourself. You weren't mature or secure enough to do it on your own. You came to me when you had tough decisions to make, you came to me when you you were feeling sad, you expected me to make you happy (in a general sense) you vented to me. You wanted my approval/assurance (hence all the times I had to tell you why I loved you). The list goes on. I'm not saying that you shouldn't have shared all of those things with me, but it was more a necessity. You couldn't not share them with me. And if all of this is bogus to you, you can't deny that this is the way that you made me feel. And no, I probably didn't communicate this to you in the clearest of terms while in the relationship, but the attempts were there. The times when I was trying to get you to re-focus on God were attempts to get you to turn inward toward yourself and your faith to grow and mature. You didn't see that, and that's partly my fault for poor communication. On the flip side, it's not really for me to show you where you need to grow and mature. That's for God to know and you to figure out. And like I mentioned in the it entry, it takes risks, failure, and it means stretching your mind. Ultimately it means growing in your faith, in ways you never thought possible. It's in places you thought you should never go. (For instance with me, it's in a fraternity. For you it could be friendly's).
By no means am I saying that I excell at this balancing act of the world and a relationship with God. On the contrary I have come to realize that this balancing will be a constant struggle. It is another facet of the Christian life. Furthermore, it is the site at which spiritual warefare is fought.
By this comment, I simply mean to encourage you to explore the multitude of ways to be in the world, but not of the world. A mature Christian, of which I am not (however, a Christian is never fully mature, [he] is constantly growing), can balance being in the world, but not of the world.
I would give you the advice that my [earthly] father gave me, but refined for your purposes. My father said to me, "don't limit yourself." I say to you in addition to what my father said, "don't limit your God."
For instance, imagine the things God could do when you are a friend to a co-worker at Friendly's? Imagine the joy it would be to your parents if your room was clean. (Then think about how it would effect the rest of your family. Might I remind you that Joanna has the goal of cleaning the house up a bit).
I guess I could also take this time to thank you for FINALLY giving me some time and space. For once, you let go of yourself, you surrendered, and you put me ahead of yourself. That is it (in reference to the it entry.) Fortunately or unfortunately, in my eyes, you have a long way to go before you have more of it and I have only begun to use the time that you've given me to allow for everything to sink in. I've only begun to ponder and think about what I've learned from the relationship, and appreciate everything God has taught me through you. It's obvious to me as to what He's teaching you, but I have to do some serious thinking about what He's taught me. To do that, I need time and space. I don't think I'll need much, but don't hold your breath either. It could be a week, it could be the rest of the summer. I'll let you know when I've had all the time and space I've needed. [I also don't think you've realized the time and space you've needed... so simultaneously, we're both getting what we need.... God is good).